Four sitcoms (sort of) based on my true life story
I want to write more. I decided to do that on the blog with my name on it. That makes the most sense. Since I tell people at parties I'm a writer, I should write in a place where they can find the work. Writing only in my head guarantees I'll never be found.
Recently, a TV writer advised me to create a pilot that best represents my story. That's how a lot of writers get staff positions on shows. We adapt personal tragedy into little half-hour blocks so people can laugh at us to feel good.
The bigot uncle drops in from the home country. Fresh out of customs, he needs a visa to grow weed instead of pay rent. But watch out for roaming hands when you sleep!
The ex-wife from Hell is also your C.O. at the halfway house and, boy, will she use that piss test against you!
I'll do that TV writer one better. I have about four solid ideas from my life that would translate.
Although I hate tropes, I'm pretty sure I'm a trope. Like, I often laugh to keep from crying. I laugh to keep from squeezing the last of the toothpaste on the mirror in a fit. Most of my sitcoms are fish-out-of-water stories about sad schemers with stupid dreams. Dumb ambitions forge strong characters. Audiences laugh at un-self-aware anti-heroes, especially when they always fail. And if I know anything, it's the recipe for failure.
Pilot 1
When the Graves' matriarch dies, Drew inherits her thriving business: a funeral home. A homeless dropout, it's his last chance to make good. Little does he know, Aunt Mamie plans to haunt him into running things the right way. Strap in for a casket-full of laughs in...
The Graves’ Shift
Tagline: "I bet Daddy claim us now."
Pilot 2
Joan's a new single mom trying her hand(cuffs) at sex work. Drew's her live-in boyfriend and sub-toy who cleans up their mess, even though he can't manage his own. Drew Breez and Eva Mendes star in...
Home/Bound
Tagline: "Goodbye safe space."
Pilot 3
Drew and Olu share a 1-room flat with four cabbies in Harlem. When ICE discovers their roommate's email scam, the duo has to un-spam 1,000 accounts or get deported. Hijinks are a fake Nigerian prince in...
419
Tagline: "Send USD$10,000 to bank number enclosed, abeg."
Pilot 4
Drew's glued to his best friend's futon when Iraq postwar PTSD seizes his brain. He's gotta find a job, love interest, and the will to live before Episode 8. Will Arnett and Drew Breez star in...
Sweatpants
Tagline: "It’s Monday again?"